Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone at home enjoys a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. I'm going to miss so much about it - seeing family and eating mashed potatoes to name a few. I would say I'm going to miss watching the Lions game and I will if they actually pull out the unlikely win.

I'm thankful for this time abroad to learn and support my husband who loves his job and is working hard. I'm thankful that, even though I'm not home enjoying the holiday with family, I will be having another trip of a lifetime in Paris until Monday. And most of all, I'm thankful for this precious life inside me that is getting more active by the day!

My 15 minutes are over

Well Monday was a lot of fun. I was in the paper and got to brag about how I made it to the front page. I felt almost famous and glad the paper came out. Then I saw there were over 300 comments on the article. Most were negative, and many were ignorant rants - no problem. I knew we would get that response because we are reaching the secular spheres! How amazing is that?

So what is my reaction now once the spotlight is gone? It's hard to put into words. I'm excited people heard about the effectiveness and the fact that 25 yr olds actually use it, but it is hard to convince someone of anything through one article as evidenced by comments. People read it because they wanted to see for themselves how outdated the system is

. One person even argued that we are stuck in the 50s and 60s even though the article made a clear distinction between rhythm and scientific modern methods. So how do you convince people?

I've talked a lot to my co-workers (none Catholic) in the past weeks since it was what was happening in my life - hey I got interviewed! I got photographed! It's on the front page. Lots of discussion have started about how I like the method, it's not that much abstinence, it's healthy and safe and less annoying than barriers. The response "I support you and your getting the word out, but I don't believe the same thing."

I have been solidly reminded that we live in an age of moral relativism. I'm glad you believe that and practice what you preach - that's what is right for you. That's not what is right for me. Maybe I'm making a leap to put those words in their mouths. Or maybe I'm not, because if they are supporting me that means they think I'm doing something right, but they don't want to practice it themselves? Either they are lazy or don't think that is the "right" thing for them - meaning there are different rules for different people.

So to conclude - I would rather have nasty comments than acceptance in word but not in action. There is nothing harder for me to take than someone that agrees this is important but doesn't evaluate how it could be important in his or her life. Think Athiest turned Catholic or Paul after he converted - those stories are amazing. Then think of lukewarm responses that don't get applied to life. Matthew 6:37: Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

300 comments didn't bother me, but just a couple co-workers did even though they were trying to be nice. I think this topic is pretty much closed for now, but anyone have ideas how to get the lukewarm out of their discussions and put some meaning back into them?

Extending benefits

Before I get to my main topic, let me lead in with my inspiration. Yesterday was my 2 yr wedding anniversary and it was wonderful. We watched our wedding video, laughed about some great moments, and I enjoyed listening to my uncle sing Ave Maria - highlight of the music part of the wedding. Then we went to a fabulous restaurant and walked a downtown area afterwards. While walking, my husband brought up something his company had done recently...

They extended benefits to more people. Benefits are great! Getting paid time off, sick leave, health insurance and so many other things a company can include with salary are incentives to take (or keep) the job. This can be extra incentive if they are amazing and are inclusive of your whole family. I'm lucky my husband has a good job with these benefits so I can sit home in the summer without a job and not worry about money. However, I already had this privilege that some other people are just getting. What group am I talk about? same-sex partners

Now, I am not brave enough to approach this topic head on for a whole post, but I thought I would share my original reaction. My husband brought it up as a question - how would he respond to questions about his feeling on the policy. The words that came out of my mouth (before really thinking it through - surprise surprise) were actually words I still stand behind after thinking. I'm glad the company treats its employees well and listened to the group that felt mistreated, but it is not a lifestyle I support. Even that is edgy though. I can just see a reporter asking the question, us answering, and being quoted "it is not a lifestyle I support."

Although I like the way I answered with a positive first but sticking to my morals and beliefs second, I wonder how other people would answer. How would you approach the topic in a loving way? Would you go in depth with someone you don't know well or only those who know you well? Feel free be braver than I and write a whole post on same-sex unions. I would love to hear your thoughts!

A note on Fatherhood

I was blessed with a great dad while growing up, and I'm even more blessed to have two great dads now (thanks to marriage). They have given me a great example of what it means to be a good dad:

quality time

live lessons

firm but loving rules

etc

It was nice to see all the dads stand up at Mass on Sunday to receive a special blessing. It's a yearly ritual, but one I found more inspiring than usual. At the end of the service, I walked up to a "future" dad (wife is due in Sept) and asked why he didn't stand up. He replied "the baby isn't here yet." While that is conventional thought - dads have to wait longer than moms who start bonding with baby while in the womb - I don't really see it that way. Why you ask?

My pro-life roots If a baby is created at the moment of conception, then that is when life starts right? If the dad helped create that life, isn't he the father of that baby? It would be hard for me to consider myself pro-life and then think that one day, when/if I become pregnant, I will have sole responsibility for that life and no one else is part of it. The dads are a part of the process from day one and should be respected for that.

So, I came home that night and told my husband that, had I been pregnant, I would have given him a card. I would have thanked him for creating life with me and protecting both of us. I imagine one day he will do this by supporting my often unsuccessful quest to eat healthy by gently reminding me of the importance for the baby to receive good nutrients. One day he will massage my aching feet and comfort me when the "pregnancy hormones" drive me crazy or to tears. He will take the time to plan for the child and support me in any challenges I might face from nausea to labor complications. He will be another great model for me and others of what it means to be a dad (and husband) even before having a cute baby to play with.

Just because the fun of bonding with a baby that can be held can't start yet, doesn't mean you are not a dad. I wish more people might see it like that and give men the respect they deserve. To say you're not a dad until the baby comes really negates anything you did to help in the process of forming the little one from conception to birth. I haven't put my husband through it yet, but I'm sure there are some fatherly love and sacrifices involved in the process :-) So thank you to all dads and especially mine. I know you loved me from day one - thanks for supporting mom through the trials and triumphs of giving birth and raising twin daughters.

Patient Woman

This morning my husband's alarm went off at 4:20am. He is now on his way to California and I am left to manage the house alone while he is gone. I'm spoiled with a husband that rarely has to travel for work so I did not like this, especially since he was gone for a week earlier this month.

I finally pulled myself out of bed at 9:20 - just late enough to know Mass was just finishing and I would not get to start my day with the peace that brings. My own fault really - but still upsetting. I went downstairs and got sidetracked by some great blogs before working out. Yes! One thing off my intended to do list. The day is looking up...

As I started working out, I glanced at the mantle over the fireplace. Next to a few candles are two wonderful items that made me feel quite thankful today. One is a bust of Mary and the other was a small container containing her image from her last residence (Ephesus, Turkey). The container holds water from the stream that helped keep her alive at her home in the years after Jesus' death and resurrection. So, to finally get to my point...

I was reminded of the life of Mary who brought our God into this world. She was blessed with that amazing task, but was not saved from intense suffering. She was patient while people accused her of adultery and gave up her son on the cross. She obediently accepted this task and patiently waited for nine months to meet this mysterious baby. I'm sure she had to wait much longer to realize why it was he was created through the Holy Spirit - what would he do with his life?

Her whole life inspires me and today reminded me of something so important. I have no reason to pout about the absence of my husband. He is providing for me and there are many ways I can patiently serve and love while he is gone. Here's hoping the revelation stays fresh in my mind all week!

Hypocrisy...

is a term I have been thinking about a lot lately. It is so easy to criticize others for it and so easy to fall into it ourselves. Yesterday I was thinking about it in terms of myself. By my blog and the topics I choose to discuss/promote, I should be extremely family-oriented right? It's related to just about everything I talk about. That is a tall and serious order for me. I want to know that I am keeping in touch with family members and making an effort. All of this is so different on my own than growing up.

My dad is a family guy. He helps his mom all the time and is constantly fixing someone's car - mine, my brother's, my uncle...the list could go on for a while. He has always taught about how important family is and backs it up with the time spent helping in the ways he can. I w

ant to do the same thing, but I can't seem to figure out where I am needed. Do my relatives know I am there for them? There for what? I don't know, wherever I am needed I guess...

I've started doing some little things - hosting Christmas, bringing cake for a party, picking up food for my mother-in-law (we get it from all over directly from farmers) - but I don't seem to have an identity within my family like my dad does. I guess I never realized how long the process of becoming an adult can be. I have positive relationships with the people in my family since a lot of the sibling rivalries having worked themselves out by now, but I have no concept of how or even who to work on staying in touch with. I don't have cousins my age so a lot of us older ones have drifted by now, but I do have further extended family (my dad's cousins' children - does that make them second, third cousins?) that are my age that used to be close who I saw at a graduation open house this weekend.

It's a weird road to travel to put family first and I think there is more than one road to choose. Hopefully I can be content with that and if others see me as a hypocrite because I didn't pick the same road as them, there is nothing I can do. At least I know that when help is needed, I will go and hopefully my family knows I am available.