Only one ultrasound?!

The OB specialist I saw on Monday was shocked I didn't get a 12 wk scan. It is standard procedure in the UK and used to date the pregnancy; however, with the help of NFP I pretty much have that covered. I chose not to get a 12 wk ultrasound because I'm not concerned about the things they test for by comparing the 12 wk with the 18-20 wk scans. I know there is a possibility that my baby could be positive on any of those tests, but I'm happy to have a baby either way. I'm also the type to stress out over things and a false positive would definitely do more harm than good.

I am happy with my decision and can't wait for the one ultrasound I do get. Baby's first picture! This pregnancy is a huge blessing and I want all the doctors to feel the same way. I find it quite ironic that if the pregnancy was planned you are told to start bonding with your baby early while still in the womb. I get emails about how my baby can respond to my touch and to light if shone directly on my belly. The baby is moving, living and growing inside of me and I am still in disbelief that it could be true - but so excited that it is. On the other hand, if I found out in two weeks that my baby had any kind of abnormality, I would be given advice and information on how termination procedures work. What happened to the baby I was bonding with? I didn't want to hear any of that information.

I went to church today for the anniversary of the abortion act in this country. The act is not quite as open as America but does give the exception that if there are "abnormalities" termination can occur at any point before birth. Below is a link about prenatal testing and what a couple people think about it. Something to think about today...

http://prolife.org.uk/2009/12/does-antenatal-testing-impliedly-discriminate-against-disabled-people/

English Culture

Another weekend spent in Leeds was quite relaxing. I'm starting to feel more a part of the place as I listen to the news and realize I can walk around town without getting lost. Last week was a big week for Britain as 83 billion pounds was cut from the budget. That is a huge percentage of their overall budget and, quite predictably, people are rather upset. The media has been enjoying all the negative public opinion and one report even went on to criticize the leader of the current government for being a closet smoker. It was interesting to hear the reports since the cuts are being made a few years after the government tried to spend its way out of a recession. Does that sound a bit familiar?

It has also been nice to go to a parish and read the weekly bulletin. I found out that this Wednesday is a day of national prayer and fasting (I will be keeping the tv off instead of going without food) for the 47th anniversary of the Abortion Act which made it legal to have an abortion up to 28 wks (later reduced to 24 weeks); however, there are exceptions for physical and mental health of the mother - I wonder if they interpret that as loosely as they do in the US. There has been debate of reducing the cut off to 22 or even 20 weeks and I found some good pro-life websites. All in all, it seems pretty similar to the U.S. especially when it comes to having access to the morning-after pill which was recently released to online sales if I read correctly (or still under debate). I find this interesting because everything is behind the counter in Europe. I had to stand in line to see the pharmacist in order to get hydrogen peroxide. How is it that anonymous people can just order something like that online but I can't get simple first aid supplies without talking to a pharmacist? I'm glad I read the bulletin so I could get interested in researching and maybe getting involved in some volunteering.

No guarantee

Last night I announced to the full pro-life group that I will be leaving my officer role in October. It was bittersweet since I don't want to see the group suffer another unexpected transition but confident that God is leaving me away. It was interesting to announce because I still don't know where he is leading me exactly. I'm following where faith is leading with no guarantee. It is a little scary, but quite freeing.

Something will come up - hopefully something that will utilize all the free time I will have after my summer job ends. Maybe that something even relates to NFP. I seem to be finding a number of opportunities relating to that.

Some shameless self-promotion for me: I'm going to be in the paper! I was interviewed last Saturday and will be photographed this Saturday for an article that will be published Sunday or Monday - I'm so excited to see how it turns out!

Golden

Since I have had a break from teaching, I have caught up on a lot of things - including my reading. Right now I am reading a finance book and a young adult novel titled Golden. It is a retelling of Rapunzel and very well written. One paragraph in the book made me think. Rapunzel's caretaker is talking about a mistake she made in the past when she say:

It might even have been better if I had been deliberately unkind. A will to be un

kind is like a sickness. It can be healed or driven out. But to be unkind because you are thoughtless is the worst kind of blindness: difficult to cure, because you cannot see the fault even as you commit it.

Does that sound familiar to anyone? I was reminded of the gospel story about having a log in your eye and trying to help someone with a speck of sawdust. Is it that we find the speck to be more visible than the more serious problem of the log? The speck could be the deliberate unkindness - we see it as deliberate and most people agree it is wrong - think robbery, arson, murder to name some big ones. In my mind, those wrongs are not as problematic because people can still see what is true and right. They don't get fooled into thinking that is a good way to live your life. It is the trickier logs or thoughtless moments that can really hurt. There are many types of which I am guilty of some:

How many times do I pass by someone without showing a hint of kindness? How many times do I forget to ask/think of a way I can make person A's life a little better today even when that person is my own husband?

Or moments I see as a pro-life NFP user: How many times have NFP users been told the joke about being parents? How many thoughtless, assumed courses of action have led to women going on the pill for symptoms that could be fixed other ways only to find out ten years later that they cannot conceive because they have PCOS and they have to start treating the cause, not just the symptoms? How many women think abortion is their only option or the only option that is compassionate about their needs?

Most of those questions seem to be answered with - that is life. That is just how things work. It is the society we live in and it can't change. I believe it can change if we stay focused and speak up about it. Isn't that our log - knowing what we know and saying nothing? I know that has been the case for me at times. Some might not believe that because I talk about it all the time, but some of the most crucial and "scary" times have slipped away because I didn't want to stir up a disagreement or confrontation. How do you think we can change the mindset of the community? nation? world?? I'm stuck on just my community...that seems like the first step to me.

Behind the Scenes

Today I continued my organizing work at the pregnancy center. It was slow-going and for a while because I didn't feel helpful at all. It is hard to know how important some work is when it is behind the scenes. I'm not directly helping a woman in need or am I? I can't imagine what it would be like working as a director of a place like that. Getting paid very little to work a lot! She has great vision and passion for the work but, for some unknown reason, does not like organizing as much as I do. That led to multiple folders of the same thing, similar items across the room from each other and too many things to keep track of. In two days I was able to change create a space for all the important daily items and hopefully put her mind at ease. I think I definitely helped a woman in need, even if it wasn't in the most glorified way. I'm glad to know my "donation" to the center was uniquely mine. I put the gifts and interests God gave me to work. There is no better feeling in the world.