It might even have been better if I had been deliberately unkind. A will to be un
kind is like a sickness. It can be healed or driven out. But to be unkind because you are thoughtless is the worst kind of blindness: difficult to cure, because you cannot see the fault even as you commit it.
Does that sound familiar to anyone? I was reminded of the gospel story about having a log in your eye and trying to help someone with a speck of sawdust. Is it that we find the speck to be more visible than the more serious problem of the log? The speck could be the deliberate unkindness - we see it as deliberate and most people agree it is wrong - think robbery, arson, murder to name some big ones. In my mind, those wrongs are not as problematic because people can still see what is true and right. They don't get fooled into thinking that is a good way to live your life. It is the trickier logs or thoughtless moments that can really hurt. There are many types of which I am guilty of some:
How many times do I pass by someone without showing a hint of kindness? How many times do I forget to ask/think of a way I can make person A's life a little better today even when that person is my own husband?
Or moments I see as a pro-life NFP user: How many times have NFP users been told the joke about being parents? How many thoughtless, assumed courses of action have led to women going on the pill for symptoms that could be fixed other ways only to find out ten years later that they cannot conceive because they have PCOS and they have to start treating the cause, not just the symptoms? How many women think abortion is their only option or the only option that is compassionate about their needs?
Most of those questions seem to be answered with - that is life. That is just how things work. It is the society we live in and it can't change. I believe it can change if we stay focused and speak up about it. Isn't that our log - knowing what we know and saying nothing? I know that has been the case for me at times. Some might not believe that because I talk about it all the time, but some of the most crucial and "scary" times have slipped away because I didn't want to stir up a disagreement or confrontation. How do you think we can change the mindset of the community? nation? world?? I'm stuck on just my community...that seems like the first step to me.
I agree that it has to start with our own community. And I'm with you - it's a lot harder to say the right thing to a person you know than to write a dozen blog posts on the topic!
ReplyDeleteI talk and write about it all the time...but to someone who I know will think I'm totally crazy...that's where I just pretend they will read my blog and I won't have to start a fight in person :-)
ReplyDelete