Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A Market for Motherhood

First let me quickly explain this new blog. As I have grown in my marriage and adult life, I have realized more and more that life is effortlessly complicated, and wonderfully complicated at that. I learn so much through daily experiences and want to write about my life.

The fact that I'm reading about and seeing many a oxymoron made this title pop into my head. And the first oxymoron I'll write about is that of the childless mother. We all know some: the aunt that was never able to have children of her own, the nurturing teacher, the kind neighbor, the... We all know some pretty famous examples as well - Mother Teresa to name one. Anyway...onto my thoughts on the matter:

Right now, I know a number of people that are pregnant and I know a number of people that are having difficulties conceiving. For the latter group, it may be hard to hear about the first group like how my husband has co-workers who are such great friends they got pregnant within weeks of each other - what a support system they have! It may be hard to hear about motherhood and think they are missing out, but I think it is more complicated than that. A book I am reading talks about how all women are mothers. It really struck me in a way that made it seem necessary to write. The author answers the question about where we can find motherhood:
It is to be found in the fresh sheets turned down nightly at the upscale hotel;
in the carefully folded linen napkins at fine restaurants; in the day-care provider's songs and stories ... in the glossy pages of magazines dedicated to passing along recip
es and household hints ... in school nurses who dry tears and comfort bewildered children...
~Genevieve Kineke

The list is too long but to sum it up - motherhood is everywhere and we all have a part. We are called as Christians to love and, just because we don't have the privilege (and pain) of bearing children, you never know when you are going to touch someone's life. That is probably the biggest thing I have learned recently. I can't always be in control of my life. Don't we explain that as NFP teachers? Children are not a right - they are a gift. If I don't receive a gift, is that punishment? Or is it a lesson and an opportunity? I would argue the second. It may be a hard lesson to take when yearning for a child, but it will open a different door that may be the path towards making a difference in the world and living out the life I was meant to live.

Finding meaning in the present is the best I can do. What opportunities are knocking on my door and how should I answer? The answer that comes isn't always the one I want, but it works out in the end. I have to believe that can also apply to couples struggling with sub-fertility. I pray all those couples find the grace needed to see opportunities to love people in the present and that I may be able to do the same if my circumstances ever link me to that special but difficult identity.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. ~ Mother Teresa


  1. I never did finish that book... looks like I'll have to pick it up again! And I can't go without telling you (again; sorry) that the book "Full of Grace; Women and the Abundant Life" hits the same nail on the head. J. Benkovic goes into even greater detail by calling all women SPIRITUAL MOTHERS, and she states that is actually our foremost vocation.

    ...I like the new blog by the way; very timely and fitting. I hope it wears lots of years with you.

  2. Thanks both of you. I thought you would like the title Rae. Hopefully this blog will last more than a year.

  3. love it. and thanks! so does this mean i should officially retire the other blog from my list?

  4. yes - retire away, I will not be posting on that one anymore